Writing 201: Conveying Without Saying
Salutations and RAGE! Oh sorry, got a bit heated there. Today, the Greatest Winchell of all time, Anne, will once again make a guest appearance! This time it starts a bit of a series on how to convey emotions without telling! Go ahead Anne, take it away!
Master plan of emotions
(Anne:) This is quite a long post, and some of you might want to skip to the middle to see specific physical and internal reactions to various emotions, so here’s a brief overview of the post: first, I talk about the importance of conveying without saying as well as ways to get started, then the part many of you may want to come back to where I go over six base emotions and a bonus seventh emotion and provide clues you can use in your writing plus how to use it in your stories. There’s even a great section on alien clues! So enjoy this introduction to our series on emotions. Let’s get started!
What does “conveying without saying” mean?
When Vivian asked me if I would be interested in writing about how to show emotion and not tell it, I immediately thought of this phrase. How do you convey emotion without outright saying it?
First, you might ask what that even means. What’s the difference? Well, the one you want to avoid, saying, would be something like this:
Bob was angry.
(Vivian: Such explicit telling makes me angry!)
That’s saying, and while it might be what you want in some limited situations, it’s pretty dull and unconvincing.
So what do you want to do? You want to convey the emotions by other means, usually physical reactions, sometimes internal reactions. For example, you might rewrite Bob’s anger as:
Bob clenched his fists until his fingernails pierced his skin.
As you can see, we have a physical reaction that shows anger. Context also matters, as the reader can usually guess what emotions a character should be feeling because they know the character so well. Of course, characters can and should surprise us, but even in that case, context helps. No emotion happens in isolation; emotion is a reaction to things around us.
If you look at your writing, you’ll undoubtedly come across instances of saying emotions. It happens to us all, even famous published authors (although if you’re a famous published author, rules generally don’t apply to you, so never use famous authors as a guide until you too are published and famous!). For each instance, look for ways to convey it.
How do you do that? Well, you’re in luck! I’m going to walk through some base emotions and some physical and psychological cues to convey those emotions, with some help from Vivian, I’m sure. By the end, you’ll be happy! Just kidding. Your face will crack from your smile and a million ideas for changing your writing will race through your head!
Division of emotions
For this blogpost, I’ll be using an emotion wheel frequently used in a lot of clinical settings for psychology and counseling to help patients identify the emotions they’re feeling. Vivian and I found it at Denver’s Hopeful Expectations Counseling website, but it’s found many places online. If you need to find it outside of this blogpost, googling “emotion wheel” ought to do it.
As you can see below, the inner circle has the base emotions, and they become more and more subdivided as each emotion is split into related subemotions until we get very specific emotions along the outer ring. We’re just focusing on the inner ring today (Vivian calls me Lady Verbosa for a reason, so I’m really going to try not to go overboard today!). Take a look at how everything expands outward, though, and I’ll come back to these at a later date!
(Vivian:) One thing to notice in this model is that there is a seventh central emotion “Bad”, most models do not include it and is generally not considered a fundamental emotion, but despite that, we found it highly useful as it gives an interesting subdivision of additional emotions.
(Anne:) The “Bad” category encompasses emotions that, while not base emotions maybe, are vital to expressing emotions and important to know for writing. Hence us choosing this model of an emotion wheel and not others!
Why is it important?
(Vivian:) Emotions schmemotions! Who needs them! Pure Vulcan Logic For The Win!
(Anne:) Emotionless characters certainly exist, but are they emotionless? Or do they just not show outward emotion? There’s a big difference! With those characters, you’ll want to use different strategies for conveying emotion. There are also certain character traits and identities that alter their emotions and how those emotions are shown. Autism is one, since autists have the same range of emotions as neurotypical people, but they tend to express those emotions differently and also may have trouble interpreting the emotional signals that other people use. This can be an interesting character to have, but as with any character who belongs to an identity, if it isn’t your identity, you need to do a lot of research and preferably speak to and have your story read by people in that community (in this case, autists).
(Vivian:) As an autist, I approve of this message.
(Anne:) And as a friend and sibling of an autist, I just want to reiterate that autists feel emotions–they aren’t robots! But it is an interesting way of examining how the experience of emotions might not match outward signals that are understood by the greater society. Because as with most things, society matters, and the social and cultural subtexts of the time and place you’re writing about will impact what you’re writing.
For example, in a place where logic is valued, emotional outbursts might be looked down on. In a setting with a fairly exaggerated view of masculinity (commonly referred to as “toxic”), men showing any emotion other than anger is viewed as “feminine,” the worst insult a man could possibly receive (obviously!). In a healthier society, things like crying might be encouraged as a way to accept and release emotions.
So pay attention to what your society values in terms of emotions so that you know how to convey them. You want to match the type and level of conveyance to the type of character you have and the society and culture in which they live. Otherwise your readers will be disappointed. So sad. Would you be more motivated if I said they would rip out their hair, scream at your incompetence, and throw your book across the room? Maybe, but you might also say that’s a bit extreme. So as you can see, you need to convey the emotion, but don’t go overboard! Match it to the situation.
How do you get started?
There are three basic strategies to convey emotion, two related to the character and one to the writing itself. I’ll go over the character ones first, as that’s where a lot of authors slip up. First, you need to know your characters.
(Vivian:) One thing to remember with characters is personal idiosyncrasies and how they help convey very personal emotions.
(Anne:) Those little idiosyncrasies combine with their personality, their attributes, and their society and culture to create a baseline of emotional responses. Once you get a feel for how they would respond, you’re ready to make statements like “Bob was mad” and have your reader believe it. Now let’s get it to actually work!
Physical Cues
Probably the most common and easiest strategy in conveying emotion is just adding physical cues. Clenched fists or jaws. A smile. A creased brow. Someone raising a hand as if to shield themselves. Lots of options! I’ll go into specifics below. The way you add this is often by replacing dialogue tags (he said) with action beats (he frowned). I have a whole post on dialogue with help on this! That’s an easy place to put them. You can also add it in other places, often around dialogue to help avoid floating head syndrome and also convey emotion, but use it in descriptions and the general narrative as well! Sprinkle in physical cues of emotion as often as possible.
Now, you know those emotionless characters? Here’s where they shine! The slightest gesture speaks volumes for them! They’re not going to make grand gestures, so you want to show the little things. A hint of a smile. Eyes shining (implying tears, you don’t need to explain that they’re “shining with suppressed tears” or anything; again, that’s implied!). Body tensing. Any little cue gets exaggerated in them. Since they’re usually emotionless, the reader will pick up on anything out of the ordinary.
Have a character who reacts in unexpected ways? This can be something like autism or a number of other character traits. Physical reactions are where you want to show it. Does the reaction line up? Are they avoiding eye contact? You can imply a lot about a character by the little, intricate details, so pay attention! And if in doubt, add some more!
Wondering what exactly you should be using? Don’t worry, I swear I’ll get to it! I’ll make sure you’re all set with the base emotions! The more subtle ones? Well, you’ll have to wait a bit on that until later posts, but it’ll happen!
Internal Cues
(Vivian:) 😩
(Anne:) This is definitely not one of Vivian’s favorites! Zhi prefers an omnituent (all-seeing) narration where you see actions, reactions, and dialogue only and infer everything from there. Most of you, however, will use a closer point of view where you actually do get inside your character’s head. For tips on choosing point of view, I have a whole blogpost on that! Gosh, it feels like I’ve written a lot on this, but haven’t ever pulled together the emotional aspect! So enjoy, and look back if it helps.
(Vivian:) I have my style and preference, your style and preference are equally valid.
(Anne:) Anyway, this not only has to do with the content of thoughts in your character’s internal monologue, but also the writing style. A panicked character might think in scattered bursts. A pensive one might think of a lot of rhetorical questions. If you have internal monologue, make sure to match it to their current emotional state. This also helps with voice, since the idiosyncrasies Vivian mentioned will come out full force in the way that their thoughts relate to their emotions.
With the writing itself, if you’re in a really close point of view, everything is assumed to be the character’s thoughts. Especially first person! So make sure everything about your writing matches the character’s emotions. Your book should have a style, yes, but it should be flexible enough to accommodate a range of emotions.
Narrative Techniques
Finally, look at the rest of your writing. Sort of like when you’re writing first person and everything reflects the emotions, you want things like pacing and sentence structure to reflect the emotions. But another fun thing to do has to do with setting.
I should warn you first that you don’t want to go overboard with this one. It’s easy to do too much with setting. Anyway, you can make things in your setting show emotion even if you’re in a situation where you don’t have the ability to show physical cues for some reason, and you can’t give internal cues. Or maybe you just really want to drive home the emotion. Or, and this is fun, you want to show a contrast between the situation and the character’s emotions. How is this done?
Well, we have certain cultural understandings of settings. Rain is sad, sunshine is happy. Cemeteries are scary, churches are reverent. Now, hopefully when you saw those you immediately thought of exceptions! Depending on your culture, rain might be good luck. And maybe you, like me, just love cuddling up with the rain pattering outside and hate being in the sun that’s so bright and glaring and burns you up! Historically, cemeteries were joyous places! People would have picnics there, even! That wasn’t too long ago, either. And churches? Well, if you practice a different religion, you might think they’re hotbeds of sin and places to be despised. So… there you go.
(Vivian:) A fun thing to try with alien or foreign cultures is to revert or change these feelings for the reader, but that takes work and effort to show a different form of emotional resonance for your world.
(Anne:) However you do setting (including weather), make sure it highlights the emotions. Sunshine at a funeral might hurt your character further if they feel nature itself is ganging up against them, or it might inspire them to look for hope. So don’t always go for the obvious. Subvert things. And make them up for your world, as Vivian says, for an alien flare!
Base emotions
In the emotion wheel we’re using, there are six base emotions with the additional seventh “Bad” category. The wheel obviously goes into more specifics, but we’ll just be dealing with the base emotions for now. Check back for later posts to learn more!
The emotions we’ll cover are Anger, Fear, Disgust, Sad (yeah, we’re starting pretty negative), Happy, Surprise, and then that general Bad category. Hmm. I guess we end pretty negative, too. (Vivian: Negasandwich) Well, honestly, your characters will be going through some things if you’re doing the story right, so that works! Ready to get angry? Ready to shred some emotions to bits and dominate their intricacies? Let’s go!
Anger
(Vivian:) I will add a bit of spice for this one by explaining a bit of the purpose of an emotion! Anger is an emotion that is believed to primarily have come about as an emotion to prepare the individual for battle. It is the “Fight” in “Fight, Flight, and more F’s”. Ready to defend your life?
Ways to convey it
(Anne:) You’re probably familiar with some of the classics for this one, but there are some others that aren’t as well-known. Here are some basics to get you started.
Clenched fists
Clenched jaws
Narrowed eyes
A tick in the eyelid
Flexing
Pacing
Short, choppy, aggressive hand gestures
Flushing
Heated face
Blood pumping
Heart pounding in ears
Dimmed or tunnel hearing
Similarly, tunnel vision around the object of hate
Boiling sensation inside
Short sentences in noun-verb format
Straightforward dialogue
Sarcasm
Double-meanings intended to hurt others
Aggressive movements
Aggressive thoughts
Obviously, things like actually fighting or arguing fall in here too
Those are some of the basics you might use for this. As we move forward, you’ll notice some overlap and yeah, there is. That’s where context comes in. Your reader should be able to infer which emotion it is if it’s one that’s cross-listed, and if not, add a few others to help! Vivian, can you think of others?
(Vivian:) One example I remember seeing, but cannot state from where, was a character who was one of those that had to be in control. An idiosyncrasy he had was that whenever he got frustrated and angry, he started to interweave his fingers and clamp down on them as the thumbs rolled around. It was as if he was tying up his hands to not lash out.
How it feeds the story
(Anne:) Anger can be a powerful motivator in driving things forward and is a root cause of external conflict. Angry characters act out. They drive things forward. So if you want someone to do something that maybe they wouldn’t normally do, get them angry, and they might make a mistake!
Fear
(Vivian:) Fear’s purpose is simple; it is to tell you that something is dangerous. Avoid the situation. Stay away and protect your life.
(Anne:) As you can see, fear is a powerful one, and if you’re doing your story right, at some point your characters are going to be afraid of something. One of the best strategies I can give people in developing a character is to think of what they want more than anything, what they fear more than anything, and then make sure you hit both in your story. Make them face that fear. Your readers will love it.
Ways to convey it
Fear takes on a lot of forms, but there are a few that can start you out.
Pale or bleached skin (adjust this based on the skin color of your character)
Hands trembling
Flinching
Drawing back
Shoulders hunched
Hands over belly
Generally closed off body posture
Cowering
Icy feeling in belly
Belly flipping
Depending on the type of fear, a need to vomit
Tentative hand gestures
Keeping hands close to the body while gesturing
Heart skipping a beat
Hiding
Running away
Fingertips going numb or cold
Cautious language
Avoiding saying what they really think
Instead of saying what they think, they say what they think others want to hear
Thoughts going in circles
Fixating on whatever is causing the fear
These certainly aren’t all, and it depends on the type of fear, but this is a good list to get going!
How it feeds the story
Fear stops action. You retreat rather than advance. Can people overcome fear? Of course! But the fear part of it holds the character back. So if you want some sort of hesitation or pause that’s laden with emotion, terrifying your characters is a great way to do it. It really is good to have them overcome their fears, but it might come at the very end. Again, force your characters to face that which they fear more than anything else!
(Vivian:) “Courage is not the lack of fear, but the defiance of it.”
Disgust
(Vivian:) This one is quite interesting because it doesn’t have to do with direct dangers, but rather, oh god, YOU COULD GET SICK! Yeah, disgust is all about the potential of getting sick and infected by something you do not know about. Stay away, and stay healthy! You know Trypophobia? I dare you to google it. It is not a fear, it is disgust. It looks to you humans like someone is horribly sick and ill! So it disgusts you. Think back when you look at those images, if you dare, does your nose clench up and you recoil? That is disgust, not fear.
If you wish to do some worldbuilding for other species and what they find disgusting, imagine: what would they associate with being sick? If it is aliens, what symptoms and things do they associate with it? Extreme lack of symmetry is likely to be universal, but you can be quite inventive here!
(Anne:) As you can see, disgust has a distinct purpose, and you can play with various causes to inspire disgust in aliens!
Ways to convey it
There are a wide variety of ways that disgust can take shape, mostly depending on the severity and which senses you absorb the thing causing disgust through. After all, you can smell, hear, and taste disgusting things in addition to seeing and feeling them! I’ll try to give some more general ones with a few specifics.
(Vivian:) The nose, THE FUCKING NOSE!
(Anne:) Yup, as Vivian rightly points out, most expressions of disgust involve the nose, even if it’s not olfactory. It’s just the expression that we make when we’re disgusted! So apologies in advance for the amount of nose-related things on this list.
Scrunching or wrinkling the nose
(Vivian: Clenching nose, if you wish to focus on the experience of the one doing it)
Holding nose
Grimacing
Lips thinning or drawing back
(Vivian: Smile flattening, as everything pulls up so a smile flattens out)
Hands curled into claws, sometimes fists
Keeping hands away from the source
Stomach churning
Acid in mouth, sometimes leading to vomiting
Jaw clenching
Swallowing hard
Gagging
(Vivian: Slow breathing through the mouth)
Exclamations if in sudden contact
Taking short, small steps away
Leaning away/Pulling back
Expressed desire to get away
Thoughts either centered on the thing causing disgust, or…
Doing anything to avoid thinking about it
Either short, choppy sentences about the subject, or…
Long, meandering sentences that talk about anything but the subject
(Vivian:) Interesting fact, the stomach churning, acid in mouth, vomiting and such are there because you likely (in a tribal era) ate the same thing and you are all infected, so time to expel it to not make you sick.
How it feeds the story
(Anne:) This is a great reaction when you want to make a character super uncomfortable and desperate to get out of a situation or give them a reason to actually leave. One of the best movies ever made (in my opinion), Labyrinth, has a Bog of Eternal Stench, which is characterized by its dreadful smell. In addition to the characters holding their noses and gagging, the setting adds to it with ugly brown goop reminiscent of shit and farting noises when they jump on stones to get across the grossness. Excellent portrayal of scent in a film, and it shows how you can use setting to help!
(Vivian:) I am disgusted now.
(Anne:) Yup. This was meant to take a relatively normal event (crossing a riverish thing) and make it tense and an actual challenge. So if you want to up the stakes, make it disgusting.
Sad
(Vivian:) This emotion is generally believed to exist to create a negative reaction: you did something socially bad, and thus your own system punishes you for it so you will not do it again. Be a good social boy or girl! It also works to discourage negative behaviors that damage you.
(Anne:) I’m going to add that there are other types of sadness, like loss and grief, which aren’t you doing something bad socially, but something bad happening to you. And expressing and embracing sadness can be empowering! However, sadness is one that in the Western world a lot of people are taught to suppress and avoid.
(Vivian:) Which is still your body and mind telling you to avoid, only that you cannot do it here.
Ways to convey it
(Anne:) There are really two facets to conveying sadness: suppressing it and expressing it. There’s crossover, and I’ll include some from each. You can probably tell which is which, and of course some are true in both. This one in particular is heavily reliant on your character and how they handle the emotion, the society and culture, and how other people do it. Situation is also crucial. What is causing the sadness? If you have depression, like I often do (I’m bipolar, so depression is a regular companion), then there’s no trigger. You’re just sad and nothing can change it, it seems (but if you are depressed, keep pushing through because it can get better!). Usually, there’s something that triggers the sadness. What is it? How serious is it? Is it something significant to the character and no one else, or is it universally felt? Lots goes into how this one is expressed, and how you convey a character’s sadness is extremely important to character development and worldbuilding.
With all that said, here are some things to help you convey sadness.
Eyes shining (avoid words like sparkling, which imply happiness, and you can drive home the point with shining with tears if you want)
Eyes closing or pressing shut
Eyes warming
Brows lifting or pulling back
Lips quivering
Frowning
Hands clenching and unclenching
Hands trembling
Sobbing or wailing
Tears streaming down cheeks
Wiping cheeks hastily
Turning away
Hiding one’s face
Silence
Dizziness
Heaviness
Slow movements
Withdrawn motions
Dreamlike or dissociative state in terms of thinking or actions
Thoughts wrapped around the cause of the sadness, or…
Thoughts avoiding the cause of the sadness
Meandering thoughts with a lot of clauses
Pauses in speech or getting lost in thoughts
Looking inward
As you can see, quite a variety, and very dependent on other factors.
How it feeds the story
(Vivian:) Stop crying about things, or I will give you something to really cry about! (joking of course)
(Anne:) See what people are up against? Bullies like Vivian are perpetuating a cycle of repression that only leads to anger and self-hatred in the long run! Shame on you, Vivian! (joking of course).
Sadness can have a lot of purposes in a story. It can be a motivation. It can be a punishment. It can be something to overcome. It can be an ending. One thing it tends to do regardless of how it’s used is slow down the action, and it reveals character in a powerful way. How characters react to sadness says a lot about them. It says almost everything about them, actually. So whenever you want to reveal something intimate about a character, show a softer side (or a harder side, depending), or show something about their relationship with their own emotions and with their society. Add a sad situation and let them convey their emotions in a powerful way.
Happy
(Vivian:) This is the opposite. You have done well! People love you; you are accepted! You had a blast! We all gotta do this all again! Yes, it is to encourage you to do things again with people, actions and more. A great way to continue good behavior for the group!
(Anne:) Yes, good job character! In some way, you’ve achieved a measure of joy in a difficult world! It can be small or large, but happiness is a reward that your character does need to get at certain points. Even the most depressed character will find something to soften their hearts.
Ways to convey it
Happiness has some common traits and some common phrasing. It’s easy to fall into the trap of showing happiness the same way. Ursula LeGuin writes in “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas” that writers often prioritize negative emotions over happiness and deem them “more interesting,” but she argues that it’s equally important to show happiness as a complex emotion equally worthy of your attention. I second that. Don’t just have your characters smile all the time. I mean that seriously. I tend to use it as shorthand in my first drafts, and my characters are just smiling constantly. Most smiles I just take out entirely, the rest I find different ways of expressing. I'll keep the rare smile but really dig in and find unique ways to convey emotion.
Smiling (again, please please do other things too!)
Grinning
Beaming
Lips curving
Lips curling (for a malicious happiness)
Eyes gleaming or sparkling
Eyes crinkling
Eyes creasing
Soft or warm expression
Heart feeling full
Warmth in body
Heart beating loudly/rapidly
Heart fluttering
Belly fluttering
Expressive facial and body movements
Kind words
Compliments and praise (including self-praise)
Loving thoughts
Focusing on the cause of happiness
(Vivian: Seeking the cause of the happiness)
Desire to bask in the glow
Desire to share joy with others
Pleasure and being pleased
Desire to be the center of attention
How it feeds the story
This is your way of rewarding your characters, and it’s also something they’re striving for. Almost all characters are motivated by things that make them happy. Happiness varies and might be satisfaction or contentment or being at peace. Whatever kind of happiness you want to use, signal it with more than smiling (though the occasional smile is fine), and make sure it works to further your character development or plot by giving the characters a break or reward when they need it.
Surprised
(Vivian:) We have the status quo, things you know happen, and all is well and then WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!? Yeah, surprise exists to make us pay attention to things that suddenly stand out and make us gauge the situation. Do we explore? Do we avoid? It is to draw attention to the unusual, as unusual things can pose a potential danger. Which is, strangely enough, believed to be the reason people are drawn to it. They want to explore to see if it really is dangerous… then they’re dead.
Ways to convey it
(Anne:) Surprise can be a fun emotion to write because it can happen in so many ways. Because of that, it can take on many forms, but there are a few base strategies that apply in most situations.
Eyes widening
Eyebrows raising
(Vivian: Eyebrows going up and
down, not in unison, in extreme surprise)
Gasping
Drawing in a sharp breath
(Vivian: Jaw dropping)
Starting in surprise
Pulling/yanking back
Snatching one’s body part back (depending on body part and if it’s snatchable)
Ice running through veins (if negative)
Delighted laugh (if positive)
Forced (negative) or unbidden (positive) smile
Stunned sensation
Floor dropping from under you
Frozen in place
Adrenaline rushing through veins
Swearing (under one’s breath or as an exclamation)
(Vivian: Speechlessness)
Asking or thinking questions
Frozen thoughts
Mind going blank
Unable to think or move
Thoughts racing or going in circles
Evoking other emotions (anger, fear, disgust, sadness, happiness
How it feeds the story
Surprise has all sorts of purposes, and it largely depends on if it’s also a surprise to the reader. If the reader has no clue what’s happening, their reaction will likely be similar to the character’s (at least if they’re engaged because you’re conveying the emotions and not just saying them!). If they know it’s happening, then it becomes suspenseful as they wait and wait and wait and then BAM! There it is. Both have their value.
Surprise is good when you want to shake things up. Story getting stale? Have something weird and unexpected happen, and it should get interesting again! Characters not advancing quickly enough? Do something to throw their world upside down in an instant! Of course, if it’s suspense, then it shakes things up for the character but not the reader, so you need to carefully figure out how to do it. I will say, though, that nothing should come out of nowhere. Everything needs to fit within your world, and there should be some hints of it in the story, just nothing the reader or character can put together until it’s too late. If your reader can look back and see the hints, they’ll be more satisfied than if they look back and there’s nothing.
Additional: “Bad”
(Vivian:) As this is not a “proper” emotion, I will make a guess based on what they put in subcategories. It seems to be emotions based on a general lack of stimuli or continuous internal stimuli of some sort that generate negative emotions. These emotions exist to drive us to do things to fix our own emotional state, what is going on around us, and, in general, make certain a negative state in the real world is not maintained.
(Anne:) I agree with this: we have two that indicate lack of stimulus (bored and tired) and two that indicate too much (busy and stressed). All negative.
Ways to convey it
For all of the other categories, we’ve been dealing with the base emotion in the middle circle as opposed to getting too specific, but for this one, I’m going to divide it into those two categories: lack of stimulus and too much stimulus. In later posts, I’ll go into a lot more detail on how the four of those are distinct, but for right now, I’m just lumping everything together in those two categories.
Lack of stimulus
Eyes drifting shut
Looking away, often out a window
(Vivian: Unfocused eyes)
Dazed expression
Sighing
Slow body movements
(Vivian: Repetitive actions with hands or feet)
Heaviness in limbs
Easy to irritate
Negative language; grumpy
Mind wandering
Unable to focus
Nonresponsive to surprises
Slow responses to surrounding stimuli
Too much stimulus
Scrunched eyes
Eyes darting around
Pursed lips
Brows creased
Biting lip
Pacing
Quick body movements
(Vivian: Avoidance of stimuli)
Heart beating loudly
Body and/or mind out of control
Panicked thoughts or actions
Mind wandering or…
Mind hyperfocused on a problem, situation, or character
How it feeds the story
Because these are very different, they have different effects on the story and the characters.
Lack of stimulus
This tends to slow the story down, but you can tell a lot about a character by how they interpret a lack of stimulus. Some characters never slow down, and some never speed up. What does it take for your character to get bored? How often do they get tired? Again, I’ll go into the differences between those in a later post, but in general, quiet moments where your characters aren’t being bombarded with things can be really good. And of course, you really need to pay attention to what it takes to get your characters into this state. If you have a character who never gets tired and suddenly they’re exhausted, that signals to your reader that something dramatic has happened, and you the author better have a good reason for it.
It can also create tension if done right. Is your character exhausted after a battle and not thinking clearly? Are they lost in thought due to boredom and don’t pay attention to something they should? Will they make mistakes as a result? Maybe they’re irritated and sign a form without reading it, then later find out that they’ve signed away something they hold dear and now need to fight to get it back. Maybe they miss the assassin sneaking into the camp, and as a result, someone dies. It’s a good way to take advantage of this slow moment and increase the action or the stakes.
Too much stimulus
Okay, so not enough stimulus depends on your characters, but what about too much? Yup, same thing. That wasn’t very surprising I guess. If it’s important to know what it takes to get your characters to a low point in terms of stimulus, you’d better know about the high points. There are so many ways to reach this oversaturation of stimuli. It’s not always problematic. Being busy is sometimes a good thing. But it does signal that there’s a lot going on, and it easily leads to overload. This is great when you want to pile things on your characters, almost like a stress test. How much can they bear?
(Vivian:) I am autistic and fairly tolerant to stimuli because of my experiences and ability to tune them out, but too much can still exhaust the ever living shit out of me.
(Anne:) See how Vivian’s unique traits fit into the amount of stimuli zhi can bear before absolutely crashing? You have to know your characters well to know exactly when it crosses from that point of good stress and good busyness into disaster.
Characters dealing with too much are just as likely to make mistakes, too, but in a very different way. Things tend to fall through the cracks. Maybe your character overlooks a task because they have so much going on, and that one thing turns out to be absolutely vital. Maybe they were supposed to have a date with another character and just plum forgot! That’s going to cause some interpersonal problems. Just like with lack of stimulus, you can easily turn too much stimulus into a driving force in the story.
Alien expressions of emotions
I’m going to pass it over to the wonderful Vivian for some alien emotions, as zhi is the expert!
(Vivian:) DAMN IT! Oh well, Anne the Sloth has written about all the ways humans usually do things. What about aliens? Normally, you do not want to deviate too much from humans, unless you do really freaky stories, at which I salute you 🫡 But many stories are closeish to humans, so does it all have to be the same as humans?
No! Well, some are good so human readers and watchers can easily recognise feelings, but you can still deviate from the human norm to add some flare to it. Each species you make can have their own unique emotional quirk based on something about them. It adds huge diversity to your world and adds to the ever so slight alienness you might want to go for! So I will take some examples from my universe to illustrate it.
Let us start with Limaces, my own species! We have stalks on our head that can extend and move about independently from the rest of the head and look around in all directions. Instead of raising an eyebrow, we are prone to raise our stalk alone instead. When we feel scared, we pull the stalk close to our head. WHAT IF SOMETHING CUT THAT OFF!? And when surprised or confused, we extend them away from the body, as if we are trying to get a better look at what is surprising us.
For the Raixher (see practicum), they have thorn based claws on their hands, so clenching fists like many humans do when angry would just mean they are cutting themselves! So instead, they pull their fingers apart and hold them out and even try to display them in a way to say “I can and will hurt you”–they are ready for the fight!
Tsxobjezn (see practicum), my little squid people! They have chromatophores on their faces (small color sacks that expand to reveal a color or contract to hide it) that help show emotions, and when they get angry, their faces turn black because the black chromatophores open up to hide more of their face. Bad time all around if so!
These are just a few examples on how alien quirks of a species can be used to signal emotions in a different way to readers. Sure it takes a bit of work, but you are a good writer like us and can do it if you want! Anne, I know you have some points, your turn!
(Anne:) Those are some excellent ones! And a good point about any unusual features. I once read a story about a species with two sets of arms, and I was so excited by the potential! Unfortunately, after that initial description and a few more visual descriptions later, the second pair of arms wasn’t used at all. If you make your species alien physically, you SHOULD think about how those extra features would be used. Unless those things are decorative, they’re going to be part of your character’s everyday existence. Even if they’re decorative, they’ll be part of their awareness!
Stay true to your characters and avoid giving them anything you’re not going to use. After all, Vivian’s Rule 9: “If a cog looks cool when placed in the world and nothing more, it needs more work” in zhir 15 Rules of Worldbuilding means that you shouldn’t add things just to be cool. You need a reason.
Okay, now that I’ve complained about all of that wasted potential, I’m going to turn a bit to fantasy, my specialty. A lot of this is similar. Look for things that are unique to your species (or your races) and try to figure out how they would actually work in the world. Emotional responses can be very fun depending on how your characters are built!
For example, in my Imperial Saga fantasy series, we’re introduced to the Kaehlari, a wolf-like humanoid people whose biology is way cooler than I have time for, but the main thing for our purposes is that they’re furred. That opens the door for all sorts of cool reactions! For example, when angry or threatened, their fur bristles. The word bristles is great because it easily expresses both the action and the emotion. When fearful, their ears lay flat. When curious, their ears perk forward towards whatever holds their interest. It’s possible to tell if they’re fully paying attention to you based on their ear position, which honestly is a bit more like cats, but hey, it’s fantasy! I can have cat-like wolf humans if I want! As long as I fully develop it into their character and world, there’s nothing stopping me!
Another species that I have in the same series are the Izure, who have hair like fire. It’s pointy and spiky, but it also has the texture of flames as opposed to hair. However, it can be styled and even dyed at this point in their history (they’re quite advanced). Their hair reacts to their emotions, growing larger and more threatening when they feel insecure or someone is challenging them, and the color shifts to whiter hues when they’re content or happy. This is unconscious, but people obviously try to modify it to look different ways. You know how on Instagram everyone is trying to look perfect and happy? Well, many of them dye their hair white (or at least whitish) with the same effect. It’s a little like botox in that it reduces their ability to emote, but they think it’s worth it. Anyway, that’s one creative way you could do it!
So those are some more fantasy-esque examples. Whatever you have, whether it’s aliens or cat-wolf-human hybrids, you want to be aware of their bodies and how those bodies will react to emotion. And while yes, you can just choose to give them regular human emotions, it’s more fun if you give them those human emotions PLUS something fun that’s unique to them. Have fun! This isn’t realism. Give your characters something that sets them apart and takes full advantage of their uniqueness!
Things to remember
These are all great ways to start conveying emotions instead of just saying what they are, but one aspect you never want to forget is personality and your own individual character. Everyone has idiosyncrasies, and these should come across. You’ll need to establish them and maintain them throughout the book or series, but they can add a lot to the character. I keep a list of characters and things that make them unique, including phrases they like saying, nervous tics, the general way they move in the world (including common gestures and verbs I use for them), and the little things they do to make them unique. I highly recommend doing something similar so that your characters don’t all end up the same. If you do keep a list like mine, though, don’t limit yourself to it! Characters can act out of character if put in the right situation, and that’s important too.
One very important thing to remember is that idiosyncrasies are more than just “does this character bottle up their emotions or express themselves,” because that’s more of a character trait. There are a lot of characters who fit into each category and everywhere in between. I view idiosyncrasies as the really little details that only they do.
For example, most characters will widen their eyes when surprised (as is stated in the list above). This is pretty common behavior. One of my characters, however, narrows her eyes. This is intended to show her eagle-like focus because when something unusual happens, she wants to know exactly what’s going on. She doesn’t have time to be shocked: she’s on the case. It’s pretty subtle, and honestly readers might not even notice that she does it (or that she’s the only one who does it), but I know it’s there, and to me, it’s a good indication of her character.
As you craft your characters, the other thing to remember is that context is everything. What is the stimulus? Has this been building over time, or is it sudden? Is it environmental or interpersonal? Or something else? Do you need this to advance the plot? Develop character or relationships? Does it impact the mood, tone, or themes of the story? What is the society like, and how does culture play into it? What is the setting like at that moment? Who is there? Why are they there? All of these things and more are vital in figuring out emotions.
Summa Summarum
In sum, emotions are key to a good story, but just saying that a character is experiencing an emotion is flat and, well, unemotional. You want to convey it, not say it, and hopefully this gives you a good place to start. And for more precise emotions and more guidance to really pinpoint what your characters are feeling and how to convey it, keep checking back with the blog, because more posts are to come on conveying emotions!
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Copyright ©️ 2023 Anne Winchell. Original ideas belong to the respective authors. Generic concepts such as the emotion wheel and different ways to convey human emotion are copyrighted under Creative Commons with attribution, and any derivatives must also be Creative Commons. However, specific ideas such as everything about Limaces, Raixher, Tsxobjezn, Kaehlari, and Izure, including their appearance, emotional responses, and culture, as well as all language or exact phrasing, are individually copyrighted by the respective authors. Contact them for information on usage and questions if uncertain what falls under Creative Commons. We’re almost always happy to give permission. Please contact the authors through this website’s contact page.
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